Lasso of Truth

The Bible Study Guilt Trip

Do you find it difficult to make time for your Bible Study?  I admit that I do.  I could get up earlier for time alone, but since I'm up at night with the baby, and up at 6:30 anyway to get Emma ready for school, any earlier seems daunting.  Experts will say that if you put your quiet time with the Lord first, everything else will fall into place.  And I know this is true.  On the days when I'm able to start with my Bible open, the rest of the day just flows in a way that could only be from Jesus. 

But what about when I'm not able to put it first?  Most days I'm able to find time between 9am and 11am, when the baby is in her swing, and Ethan is watching something on PBS. But the reason I'm starting with this subject today, is that sometimes I'm not able to find the time at all.  While I wrote my notes on chapters 20-22 in my journal almost two weeks ago, I'm only getting around to posting them today.  I have had two of the most frantic, non-stop, kids sick, dr's appointment, late night, husband out of town, husband home during the day (!), weeks of my life.  And I wasn't able to put my Bible study first.  Or even last most days. 

What do you say to yourself when you haven't opened your Bible that day?  Do you guilt trip? Do you justify? Do you shame yourself?  I've noticed that any of these options push the possibility of getting back into Scripture ever farther away.  On days (or weeks) like this, it's important to remember the spirit of the idea of "quiet time". It's not a homework assignment that we need to check off the list.  It's about abiding in Christ.  And we can do that while driving down the street, talking to our kids, and meditating on the Words that are already written on our hearts through memorization.  Don't worry about how "far behind" you are.  Just do your best to get back to it as soon as you can.  Even if all you can do today is open up that precious book and let it catch your tears of exhaustion. 

The Enemy, the Accuser, wants to separate you from God, and he'll use guilt, pride, shame, justification--anything he can to do that.  I've found the best defense for this in my life is to make goals, but to never make a reading schedule.  I try to never think about how behind I am. Because there is no such thing.  Every day I open my Bible and let it soak into my soul is progress.  And that's where I'm starting today.

Modern Psalm of Deliverance

**My goodness.  It has been almost a week since I posted the tips for writing a psalm.  This was such a serious process!  I had no idea that it would be so intense.  I was nervous at first, feeling like I couldn't start until I had a theme and knew where it was going.  Then I thought I needed to have a chunk of time to think, pray, and decide what area of life to write about.  When it came down to actually writing, none of these things had actually happened.  My thoughts were jumbled, I was running on three hours sleep, I was hurting from sending Emma to her first day of school, and because Esther wanted to nurse right when I resolved to start, I didn't even have both hands free!  (Did David deal with things like this?) So I read David's psalm of deliverance and decided to write about my own experience.  The terms are vague, because the details of my sin and redemption are not something I'm quite ready to display here.  Not yet, at least.  But I'm hoping that the truth of my rescue will still shine through, and that maybe someone else will identify with that.  I also tried not to edit too much.  A psalm is a prayer, and real often means raw.  I loved the process, plan to write more of these, and hope you'll try it out for yourself.**

A modern psalm of deliverance.

The Lord is my deliverer.  The Lord is my Salvation--my source of strength when I am weak.

I was sought out by my Enemy, but the Lord fought for me.

My Enemy stalked me like a beast in the wilderness.  But my God stood before me and struck him down.

Though I didn't yet know my Lord, He was already there.  He opened my eyes to His presence, and I saw his Light.

I saw the way He had laid out for me.  He showed me a future in His presence.

But my heart was filled with pride.  I wanted to set my own path.

I didn't know that the Beast was still behind me, waiting for me to fall.

He wanted to devour me.  His plan was to bury me alive.  I made my own path, and I followed it right into his plan.

I sank deep into darkness and shame. My God was there, but I shut my eyes to His light.

His love for me only caused me more shame.  His hand reached for me, but I pulled away.  I would not grasp it.

I wanted to rescue myself, but I sank deeper still. I tried to lift myself out of this pit, but the heaviness of my shame was too much to bear.

My enemy stood back and mocked.  He hurled insults at me as he watched me struggle.

He didn't have to stalk me now.  His insults were coming from my own mouth.

I heard the voice of my God, and I longed to stand in His presence again.

But my accuser's voice rang in my ears.  I was stained, ugly, not worthy to be saved.

In my misery I stopped struggling.  The enemy mocked; he had worn me down, and I was defenseless.  I let the darkness envelop me.

As I was being buried alive, I called out.  In my weakness, my voice was only a whisper. "Save me."

My rescue was swift and immediate. The Lord pulled me from the pit.

His redemption poured over me, and I could not hear anything but His voice.

My Enemy was defeated.  His insults continued, but I was not listening.  God's love drowned them out.

My God had delivered me.  The Lord is my deliverer.

 

 

What We Need is a Few Good Men Women

    I hope this can be encouraging.  I was driving along, running my errands today, while listening to some Christian radio in the background.  I'm not sure who was teaching, but I think it was James MacDonald?  He was talking about the devil, and said that Satan cannot control you against your will.  Thank you!
    About a month ago I felt like I, along with several members of my family, was in the middle of heavy spiritual warfare.   I felt beat down, depressed, and began harboring negative and even resentful thoughts against Donnie.  This was really out of character for me, since I am usually an over-the-top optimist.  (To a fault)  And finally I was able to reach out to God, open my eyes, and see that the real issue was that I was being lied to. 
    You see, I believe that for the most part Satan is powerless against us.  He can't make us sick.  He can't thwart our plans.  He's basically impotent against God's children.  But there is one area where he reigns.  And that is the lie.  I picture him standing over our shoulders throughout the day, looking for an opportunity to cause dissension.  When he gets his chance, he begins to our out his lies into your ears, hoping for one of them to sink in:
"If he loved you he'd spend more time with you."  "Did you see how he just ignored you?"  "He cares more about those people at church than his own family."  Etc.  These are not obvious tactics.  He's sneaky and good at what he does--he's had lots of practice.  His goal is to separate us.  If there is trouble between us, it takes our focus away from God.  We cannot listen to these lies!  The only power that Satan has over us is the power we allow him to have!  Don't let him influence your life, your decisions, our your relationships.
    Okay, so what does this have to do with the radio show?  Haha!  Here it is.  There is one problem I have always had with my belief that the devil is powerless.  Job.  Job was holy and blameless, and Satan went to God, asked permission to temp him, and God said yes.  Read this for yourself it's incredible.  I think that this passage is why Christians are often so quick to give the devil credit for their hardships.  Oh, you are sick and can't teach Sunday School?  That must be Satan.  But here is what Dr. MacDonald said that blew my mind.  He said that Satan did not have any control over Job, or his situation.  Satan was a pawn!!  God used Satan and his selfish pride to bring glory upon himself.  Satan wasn't testing Job--God was.
    Doesn't that give you peace to realize that you are safe in the arms of God.  Yes, sometimes God tests us and allows hardships is our lives.  But they are for our ultimate good, and his ultimate glory.  Praise God!
    My own situation:  Before I let you go I'll tell you how I got out of the pit that I was in last month.  Whenever I felt myself beat down, or felt the resentment start to creep in, I worshiped.  Just like Job.  At first, I felt like Satan was trying harder to get at me.  But after a while, I felt the thoughts (and lies) start to taper off.  Worshiping God is the opposite response that he was hoping for from me, so I guess he backed off for a while.  That's a tactic I learned from this girl.  Thank you Lord.