Lasso of Truth

Modern Psalm of Deliverance

**My goodness.  It has been almost a week since I posted the tips for writing a psalm.  This was such a serious process!  I had no idea that it would be so intense.  I was nervous at first, feeling like I couldn't start until I had a theme and knew where it was going.  Then I thought I needed to have a chunk of time to think, pray, and decide what area of life to write about.  When it came down to actually writing, none of these things had actually happened.  My thoughts were jumbled, I was running on three hours sleep, I was hurting from sending Emma to her first day of school, and because Esther wanted to nurse right when I resolved to start, I didn't even have both hands free!  (Did David deal with things like this?) So I read David's psalm of deliverance and decided to write about my own experience.  The terms are vague, because the details of my sin and redemption are not something I'm quite ready to display here.  Not yet, at least.  But I'm hoping that the truth of my rescue will still shine through, and that maybe someone else will identify with that.  I also tried not to edit too much.  A psalm is a prayer, and real often means raw.  I loved the process, plan to write more of these, and hope you'll try it out for yourself.**

A modern psalm of deliverance.

The Lord is my deliverer.  The Lord is my Salvation--my source of strength when I am weak.

I was sought out by my Enemy, but the Lord fought for me.

My Enemy stalked me like a beast in the wilderness.  But my God stood before me and struck him down.

Though I didn't yet know my Lord, He was already there.  He opened my eyes to His presence, and I saw his Light.

I saw the way He had laid out for me.  He showed me a future in His presence.

But my heart was filled with pride.  I wanted to set my own path.

I didn't know that the Beast was still behind me, waiting for me to fall.

He wanted to devour me.  His plan was to bury me alive.  I made my own path, and I followed it right into his plan.

I sank deep into darkness and shame. My God was there, but I shut my eyes to His light.

His love for me only caused me more shame.  His hand reached for me, but I pulled away.  I would not grasp it.

I wanted to rescue myself, but I sank deeper still. I tried to lift myself out of this pit, but the heaviness of my shame was too much to bear.

My enemy stood back and mocked.  He hurled insults at me as he watched me struggle.

He didn't have to stalk me now.  His insults were coming from my own mouth.

I heard the voice of my God, and I longed to stand in His presence again.

But my accuser's voice rang in my ears.  I was stained, ugly, not worthy to be saved.

In my misery I stopped struggling.  The enemy mocked; he had worn me down, and I was defenseless.  I let the darkness envelop me.

As I was being buried alive, I called out.  In my weakness, my voice was only a whisper. "Save me."

My rescue was swift and immediate. The Lord pulled me from the pit.

His redemption poured over me, and I could not hear anything but His voice.

My Enemy was defeated.  His insults continued, but I was not listening.  God's love drowned them out.

My God had delivered me.  The Lord is my deliverer.

 

 

A Modern Psalm - some resources

A few days a go I mentioned in my notes that I'd like to try writing a psalm.  I assumed that I wasn't the first person to have this idea, so I did a search on google.  Probably something like "how to write a psalm".  I was right!  I found several articles on the subject, so I started making some notes in my journal for a little guidance.

I found these extremely helpful and inspiring.  Here are a list of the links I used in the notes:

ProvenMen, HarvestTime, TheOneTrueFaith, BibleWise, NewSongsAndPsalms, LiesYoungWomenBelieve, Jim-Street, CloverSites, JesusWalk

You'll notice that several of these resources are in the kids and teens section, which I find telling.  And a little sad.  Times haven't changed much since David was criticised for being enthusiastic about his love for God.  He was looked down on for being silly, undignified, and maybe even childish.  But the truth is, he was just sold-out, head-over-heels-in-love with his Creator, and he didn't care who knew it.  He was obsessed with God the way kids are with their toys, or preteens with the latest boy band.

So dig deep.

Get in touch with your preteen self.

Read my notes.

Or click on the links.

Or just read our inspiration passage.

If it's not too personal (or even if it is!) leave it as a comment to share with others.

Write a psalm with me.

I'll share mine next time.

Anna

 

II Samuel - A Look Back

I just finished looking over my notes on the last 24 chapters we read together.  I love looking back like this.  For one thing, it reminds me of all the lessons I've learned recently.  And unexpectedly, I'm able to realize how much the Holy Spirit has aided my understanding of His Scripture.  Over and over I think, "Wow.  That was good.  I couldn't have written that without Jesus."

I try to make a point of looking back after studying an entire book, because I know that whatever I think the theme of the book was this time--it will probably be very different the next time I read it.  That's the beauty of the Bible.  It's alive, and it speaks into your life as you are right now.  So while I'm so happy that you are reading this, I hope that you'll take a couple minutes to read over your own notes, and ask the Lord to show you what He wants you to take from it, too.

For me, the entire book can be summed up in something I noticed in the last chapter.  God wants a relationship with the people He created.  That's you.  That's me. That was David, and David understood that.  Probably more than anyone ever.  David's life showed that He wanted to be near God, that he wanted to know God, and that he wanted to honor God.  We can't honor Him unless we know who He is.  And we can't know Him unless we spend time with Him.

In I Samuel, Saul was told that the Lord was looking for someone after His own heart.  What do you think that means?  What clues does David's life offer, since he was the one who filled that role? 

Obviously, David wasn't sinless.  He was sinful. But the key is what he did about it.  When his fleshly desires got the better of him, he was crushed by it.  He felt the separation from God that he had caused, and it caused him agony.  He did everything possible to restore that relationship, because to David, God was Air.  God was Life.  And over and over in David's life, we see the Lord turn back to him with mercy, compassion, and forgiveness.

Wait, isn't this the God of the Old Testament?  I thought He was supposed to be hard, angry, vengeful, horrible!  The truth is, He's the same God.  He has always desired to be close to us, but it is our sin---our choices--that separate us and bring about consequences.   While this book is full of terrible consequences, the theme that keeps resounding in my heart is that God wants to be near me.  He wants to fight for me, and build things through me.  He wants to use me to protect people, and save people.  He wants so much for me to want Him, that He'll allow Himself to be moved--His great, powerful, angry, terrible, self--TO BE MOVED by my prayers.  He wants me so much that He would die for me.

That's what I'm taking from II Samuel.

 

Next time: I Kings 1-2 (and I'm still working on that modern psalm.  and I want you to write one, too!)

II Samuel 24

Chapter 24

v1-9 A census is taken in Israel and Judah.

Israel=800,000

Judah=500,000

v10  What was his sin?  Is he taking pride in the numbers of people in his kingdom?

I Chronicles 21 gives a little insight to this.  It says that Satan caused him to do it.  And that Joab knew it would bring trouble. 

What if God gave you a bank acount, with a debit card attached. What if He told you that you could use this card for everything you need, and that you could also use it to buy things for others who were in need.  And that you would always have plenty of money in that account--that it would even compound with interest, so that you could increasingly do more and more.  But He said--Don't look at the balance.  Just trust Me.

Can you think of any reason God would be upset with you for checking the balance?

If you knew exactly how much money was in the account, would you be trusting in Him, or in the number?  If you knew how much money was in the account, would you be tempted to spend some of it on luxuries and fun stuff--something that might bring you some glory?

This might be the issue here.  I don't remember it being recorded that David could not take a census. But Joab responds with a refrence to Deuteronomy 1:11, where God promised Moses He would multiply the people before his eyes.  Maybe David wanted to measure this for himself.  Maybe he wanted proof that the Lord had kept His promise.

I don't fully understand what David did wrong, but I do recognize his troubled heart after it was done.  Why is it, even with a true, growing relationship with the Father, that we still do things we know are wrong?  Sometimes, like David did here, we even plan them out--maybe even pulling someone in with us.  Why do we do this?!  Are we so numbed to God's grace that we don't remember the pain attached to sin?

In David's case, it seems he remembered it as soon as the task was finished.  He called out to God for forgiveness, but his sin would still cause pain.  Sin always causes pain.  In David's kingdom the consequence was huge.  

v15 70,000 men lost their lives.

v17 David could see the angel who was doling out the Lord's punishment for his own sin. (Can you imagine the anguish!) He could not bear for anyone else to pay for his wrongdoing.

v18 They must build an alter.

v23 Araunah offers the threshing floor--and the animals for sacrifice--to David as a gift. 

v24 David insists on paying for everything.  And I love his reasoning.  "I will not offer...offerings to the Lord my God which cost me nothing."  No one could ever call David free from sin.  But when this man repents, it is with his whole heart. 

How many offerings do we give to the Lord that we don't even feel?  In our American culture--even in a "recession" it takes a lot to give til it hurts.

v25 The Lord was moved by the prayer.

wow.

We serve a God who wants so much to have a relationship with us that He allows Himself to be moved by our prayers.  What a fierce love our Father has for us.

Next time: A look back at II Samuel, and maybe even a modern psalm.

II Samuel 22-23

Chapter 22 David responds to the Lord's grace with a psalm of praise.

v2-3 The Lord is strong.

v4-6 I was in trouble--near death.

v8 "then the earth shook and quaked, the foundations of heaven were trembling and were shaken, because He was angry."  Some intense imagery here.

v17 He saved me.

v18-19 I was weak.  My enemies were strong.  But HE was stronger.

v29 "for you were my lamp, Oh LORD, and the LORD illuminates my darkness." 

David seems to spew praise and love to the Lord, in what seems like a stream-of-consciousness poem to the One who has proved Himself faithful.  David can't get the words out fast enough.

What would my stream-of-consiousness love-poem to the Lord look like?  And yours?  I guess you start with a time He delivered you, and go from there.  Note to self: write a psalm of praise and deliverance.

Chapter 23

v1 I love how David is introduced here, esp the "sweet psalmist of Israel".

v8 And introduction to the "mighty men".  Here are some of their incredible feats of skill, strength, and war.

--Eight HUNDRED slain by him at one time.

--battled the Philistines when the rest of Israel had withdrawn.

--defended a plot of lentils, alone against an army.

--broke into enemy camp just to get David water from a certain well.

--killed 300 men with a spear.

--killed a lion in the middle of a pit on a snowy day.

--killed an Egyptian with his own spear.

v31 Uriah the Hittite is immortalized as one of these great men.

Why do you think these guys got there own special mention in Scripture?  They were amazing on their own, I'm sure--but I bet none of them had ever taken on hundreds of other guys (or a lion) just for the fun of it.  I'm guessing that these men were the top athletes of their time, but what made them mighty was their availability to be used for God's glory.  God uses the natural abilities of faithful men--and then turns up the volume on those talents--just to bring glory to His Name.  Doesn't that make you want to lift up your talents to Him and say, USE ME!

Next time: II Samuel 24 (The last chapter in this book!)

II Samuel 20-21

Chapter 20

v2 The men of Israel are easily persuaded.

v3 What do you think this is about?  Is David repentant concerning these women?  Or is this an act of abandonment?  Either way, they are spending the rest of their lives as widows.  Very sad.

v4 Amasa is put in charge of gathering Judah's (King David's) men. And he has three days to do it.

v5 Amasa is delayed, which spells trouble for David. (v6)

v8-10 Joab takes Amasa's life.

v12 So graphic. Apparently the sight of Amasa's body is so disturbing that the men of Judah are immobilized by it.

v16-17 As in chapter 14, a woman uses her wisdom to bring about peace.

v19 She sees that many faithful, peaceful people are about to be killed because of the actions of Sheba.  She negotiates with Joab (21) and convinces the Israelites to give him over, saving innocent lives.

I can't say that I fully understand the ways of Old Testament life.  I don't know if I could have done what this woman did.  But I'm intrigued by her boldness.  This unnamed woman stood up to the leader of the enemy's army, and talked things out with him!

Chapter 21

v1 God is punishing His people for Saul's crime.

v6 Saul's sons (and grandsons) will pay for his crime!

v9 And they do.

v10 Rizpah mourns for her sons.  Her family has been wiped out by their connection to Saul.

v11 Her actions cause David to act, and when the bodies of these men have been given their burial, the prayers for the land are answered. (14)

Again, we are given a glimpse into God's use of a woman to bring change and salvation to her people.  These two women saved their people, just through their wisdom and obedience. How will God use your wosdom and obedience to save your people?  We may never fully know the answer to that.  But the key to having wisdom, and knowing what obedience looks like, is continually retreating into Scripture. Soak it in.  And you will be ready to be used for His purpose.

v15-22 A record of the end of the line of the giants.  Goliath's family is destroyed by David's men.

next time: II Samuel 22-23

 

II Samuel 18-19

Chapter 18

v4 David allows the commander to protect him, for the good of the nation.

v8 The forest devoured more than the sword did?!  That tiny sentence makes a huge statement.  The notion that God will fight for you is not just a nice, cozy thought.  We are talking literal battle here.

v9 An example of the forest playing a part.  This is like something from a Tolkien novel!

v10 This man, with great conviction to obey the king, remains unnamed.

v14 Joab does not have such conviction.

v17 Not exactly the burial of a royal son.

v29,32 David is intent on hearing the news of Absalom.

v33 His weeping and grief over an evil son is difficult to understand. Why does he care so much for this wicked man?  This man who would happily have ended his own father's life for his own selfish gain?  Why doesn't he just wash his hands of him and be done with it?!

But this is a perfect example of God's love for us.  His compassion is eternal.  His lost children cause Him much grief and heartache.  "Would that I had died instead of you..."  This is why David is a man after God's heart.

Chapter 19

v5-6 Joab tries to talk some sense into David.  When a parent spends too much time lamenting a wayward child, the faithful and obedient children might become resentful.

v19-23 David shows mercy to his enemies.

v41-43 More trouble bubbling up in the kingdom.

Next time: Chapters 20-21

II Samuel 16-17

Chapter 16

v1 Remember Mephibosheth is Jonathan's son.  Ziba is his servant.

v7-8 I don't know how David reacted to these words, but I do know that he was a man of introspect.  I wonder if anything this guy said pierced his heart or made him question his divine appointment to the throne. 

When a good man's integrity and motives are called into question, it sometimes cripples him, however briefly, in a way that it would not with another kind of man.

v10-12 David, instead of defending himself, is going to let the Lord speak for him.

v21-23 The advice of Ahithophel is vile and dishonoring to God, but Absalom obeys like it is an order from Above. (As David had done, for this was his counselor 15:12)

Chapter 17

v7 Hushai takes his place as adviser and discredits Ahithophel in the process.

v14 The plan works perfectly.

v19-20 A woman saves the two spies, and in actuality, David himself.  We may never know what our small actions are doing to impact God's kingdom.

v23 This is a blow that the traitor Ahithophel cannot endure.

v25-29 Amasa, who was appointed over Absalom's men, is the relative of Shobie, who brought provisions for David's people.  David's household is not the only one which has been divided by this rebellion. 

Are the references to cousins and relatives in this passage making your head spin?  I've noticed that sometimes it helps to draw a picture--in this case a family tree--to make the connections a little more clear.  (This is a rough sketch I made in my notebook to help myself understand.)

Amasa is Joab's 1st cousin, once removed (Joab's cousin's kid). This is why he was chosen.  Keep it in the family.

Shobi is Amasa's uncle on his mother's side.  And is also Joab's 1st cousin. 

Does that help at all?  I'm a visual learner, so it does for me.  Is there a trick that helps you study Scripture more effectively?  Share it with the class!

Next time: Chapters 18-19

II Samuel 14-15

Chapter 14

v1-18 Joab sees that David needs some kind of justification in order to pardon his son, so he hatches a plan to make it possible.  This is similar to what Nathan did concerning his sin with Bathsheba.  It seems David can see a solution to another's life more easily.  But I guess we are all like that to an extent.

v19 David knows that Joab has something to do with it.

v24 He may be pardoned, but there still must be consequence.  He can't be in the presence of the king.

v28 It seems that two years is as long as Absalom can bear anything.

v30-31 He reacts like a spoiled child.

v33 His tantrum is rewarded.

Chapter 15

v3 Absalom is causing dissension in David's kingdom.

v6 Presenting himself as a "new hope" for Israel.  Have you noticed that this is exactly how Satan works?  He doesn't come out in the open and challenge the King.  He hides in the shadows, using his lies to plant doubt and discontent in the heart of the King's people, and builds his own mock kingdom of weak, self-seeking deserters.  Don't allow yourself to be used by this Coward!

v9 David, the brave warrior, has no idea that an enemy has risen within his own family.

v20-21 A brief picture of the heart we should all have for our Lord.  It doesn't matter how short a time we've been with him.  This man had only just joined David's camp, and he was prepared to be persecuted with him.  This is extreme faith.

v25-26 David also shows extreme faith.  He doesn't want to use the Ark as a good-luck charm.  He is seeking the absolute will of the Lord, even if it means no longer being king.  "Behold, here I am, let Him do to me as seems good to Him."  You have to really trust God to say something like this.  Usually we take those leaps of faith while still covering our backsides.  Do you trust the Lord like David did?  Do you really believe Him when He says He loves you?

v30 Strong men weep.

v33-34 David plans his own infiltration.

Next time: Chapters 16-17

II Samuel 13

It has not just been since Monday that I have been working (struggling) with the following post.  I wrote the study for this chapter more than 6 months ago--at the height of my gestational depression--and I have come to realize that this chapter is the reason it took me so long to get back here.  This is a tough one.  As some of you know, when I started this whole-Bible study adventure, I felt extremely ill-equipt.  But I was continually amazed at the insight the Lord poured into my heart as I started to type my notes into the website.  Today I am feeling the same way I did when I started.

So bear with me as I muddle through this emotionally-driven passage of Scripture. I think you'll be surprised at the blessings He has prepared for us through it.

Chapter 13

v1  Even as we are introduced to the cast of characters, I am struggling with the use of the word "love" in verse one.  As we will soon find out, Amnon did NOT LOVE Tamar.

v2 Because she was a virgin, there would eventually be evidence of his actions with her.  Was this royal family so used to debauchery that it was normal to act out with anyone they wanted?

v3 Again, the wording is getting to me.  This describes Jonadab as a "shrewd" man.  I have always understood shrewd to mean wise or thoughful--positive traits.  This man is calculating and coniving.

v7-9 Each step toward the violent deed makes me sick as I read of it.  Why!?  Why didn't anyone see what was happening?

v12 Tamar has the presence of mind to try to reason with him.  Remember who you are!  You are an Israelite!  You are not one to bring disgrace to your family!

v13 She tries another angle.  What about me?  Think what the consequences will be for me.  Think what this will do to the way people see you.  It doesn't have to be this way!  And then, in what I see is the absolute last hope of stopping him: Our father would give me to you in marriage if you would only ask him. This girl is desperate to stop her brother.

Tamar does everything right.  She is calm and reasonable.  She doesn't insult him or degrade him, which might have caused things to escalate.  But sometimes, even when you do everything right, the worst still happens.

v14 And it did here,too.

v15 "...for the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her."  Isn't that a statement!  He had never loved her.  Not really.  It was only lust, greed, desire.  Love does not delight in evil.  Love always protects.

v16-18 And on top of her shame he adds public disgrace.

v19 Acting out her shame.  Mourning the loss of her purity, her innocence, her happy future.

v20-23 Absalom lies in wait like a spider with its prey.  Two full years!  How does David's reaction resonate with you?  So he was very angry...then what?  I found myself extremely frustrated by this. Was his lack of action about Amnon having more basic rights than Tamar, as a man?  Being a potential future king?

v25-27 Extreme pre-meditation.  He threw David off by first requesting that he go along.  Amnon seems like a consolation, when all along he was really the target.

v29 The king's sons have no sense of loyalty to each other.  They just want to get out as soon as possible. 

v32 Here is Jonadab again, part of every devious plot in the kingdom.

v35 And Jonadab seems like the loyal, dependable advisor.

As I said when I started this chapter with you, it is one I have been struggling with for months.  How could God allow such a terrible thing to happen to an innocent young woman?  Where was her father?  Why did he not protect her, or at the very least avenge her?  Why is the one man who loved her (Absalom) forced to take matters into his own hands?

These questions were swirling in my head and were causing much distress.  And then it hit me.  God didn't cause this sweet girl to be attacked.  She was hurt by and evil man who took advantage of the free will that each of us was given.  The fact that he was allowed to live his life for two years without consequence is disgusting and horrible.  I don't even want to think about the injustice!

But this is the world where we live.  Terrible people get away with worse every day.  The Bible is not a feel-good, everything-will-be-fine-in-the-end story book.  It is a collection of historical events--events that happened in the same, sad, depraved world that we live in now.

So what hit me was this.  We didn't ask to be born into this messy life filled with pain, hurt, and sorrow.  But Jesus did.  From the beginning of sin, He knew the pain, shame, and dispare that rule the world, and He chose to be part of it anyway! 

Stories like this one break my heart.  But imagine how the Father must have felt as He watched it happen.  And He knows of every case of painful injustice that has ever occurred.  Ever.  And instead of shutting His eyes to it like I want to do, He entered into it, took the injustice onto Himself, and gave His life so that we would have hope for an eternity without pain, shame, or dispare. 

Doesn't that make you want to just fall on your face and worship Him!  Praise be to God.