I have told this story a couple times recently, and I really think it's time to get it out in the open. I have often been encouraged by Psalm 37:4 which states, "Delight yourse lf in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." I love this verse! It is sometimes mis-interpreted to mean that God is our Genie, waiting to to grant our every wish. But that is not quite right. The integral part of the verse is the first half..."Delight your self in the Lord ..." To I have these two real-life illustrations:
#1 The Bedspread.
When we first moved to our new home, the parsonage, we decided to celebrate by buying a new king-sized bed. This was much-needed after spending an entire gestation period radiating in a double! Well, we had the money for the bed, the frame, and the sheets, but the covers would have to wait. We had a price in mind...about $60, so I began haunting the local discount stores.
I found a few that I loved, but they were always out of our price range. Until one day, when I found a really great one. It was a cream matelasse coverlet that was just a little over-budget. I decided to sleep on it, talk it over with Donnie, and come back for it in the morning. I did go back for it. And wouldn't you know it--it was gone--less than 18 hours later! I was disheartened. And I felt silly for being upset over it. It was just a bedspread after all, but I'd been looking at that bare bed everyday for the past three months. So I continued the search.
I knew it would be stupid to get something I didn't like just to hold us over. And I knew that going outside of our budget was wrong too. I prayed about it every time I stepped foot in one of the stores. God, help me find something I can live with, that Donnie will like, and that will not break the bank! And then one day, there it was. I walked over to the clearance items and saw one of the sets I had admired in the early days of the search. It was a beautiful, mocha, quilted satin. Gorgeous. It even had matching shams and dust ruffle. I flipped over the package, praying all the while, and looked for the red sticker. I had been sure that someone had dropped this onto the wrong shelf, but there it was. $65. There was no thinking this one over. I took that baby right home, and had it on the bed by lunch time.
This is the lesson that I took from this seemingly non-important event: God wants what is best for us. He wants us to follow his will, and delight ourselves in Him. He knows us--our thoughts, dreams, desires, tastes--even without us telling Him what they are. He has promised to provide for our needs, but there is more. "If we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our hearts." This goes beyond need. This is a deeply personal, intimate exchange between a human being and her creator. I hadn't told anyone about the more expensive bed cover. I knew it was more than I could spend, and I wanted to remain a good steward of what I'd been given. I wasn't just out to save a buck. Staying within this boundary was wrapped up in being submissive to my husband, trusting God, practicing contentment, and even my prayer life. And when I finally found the perfect cover for my bed, I knew it was a gift from God. A desire of my heart. It was like he said to me, "Anna, I know this has been hard on you. I saw your heart the first time you saw this, and I saw the restraint it took to let it go, to depend on Me. This is my gift to you."
It might seem silly for all of this emotion to come from linens. But that's not the key. Too often women are told, "If you want something in life, you have to make it happen." But for the Christian, that is the opposite of Truth. Nothing we have is our own doing. Everything is a provision, a gift from God. And when we realize this, our relationship with Him can only grow stronger.
That is a very real lesson for all of us to learn. Many times I step ahead of God and want it now. I see how I become greedy about the things I have and feel I need, when in reality He is all I need. Thanks for the reminder and sharing.
Jeani
Posted by: Jeani | January 31, 2008 at 04:02 PM
Thanks for this!! I'm so glad to have found this part of your blog (: I needed this, it was encouragement. I've had a tough night and it was refreshing to read this.
Posted by: katelynjane | February 16, 2008 at 11:08 PM
Wonderful lesson, reflection and re-telling. Congratulations on your restraint and getting your hearts desire!
Posted by: Titia | March 04, 2008 at 01:21 PM