She has been living with us since I rescued her from our cat about 3 weeks ago. I popped a flowerpot over the top of her, mostly because I wanted to see Donnie's reaction when he lifted it off. He's not a big fan of spiders.
He thought we should put it in a tree where it would be safe, but I didn't want the kids to miss seeing it---you know...we homeschool now...teaching opportunities...yada yada-- and they were already in bed. We stuck it in a jar on the counter overnight, and woke up to little voices squealing about whether is was real. Or dead. Or where in the world it came from.
Which lead to us doing a little research on what do tarantulas eat...
What should have been a romantic day for two local sweethearts, quickly turned violent. Esther, or "Princess Aunt Abby" was dressed in her wedding day finest, from her purple glitter tiara to her red and blue bandanna gown. In her bouquet were organic printer paper flowers with pipe cleaner stems, each seeming to stretch for a better view of the bride as sunflowers to the sun. It should have been her day.
It all changed when her prince revealed himself to be someone much more sinister. Prince Ethan, just before taking his vows, pulled out a green blankie, concealed beneath his wedding jacket. "I am Germ Man!" he screamed, as he hurled his package of bio-hazard straight for his betrothed. He laughed, as the bride fell to the ground. "Now you have every disease in the world!" She lay there dying, her audience in shock, when he walked up to her and whispered, "Kiss me, and you will be healed."
The crowd was silent as she struggled to meet his lips. Could this be the healing power of true love's kiss? They held their breath in anticipation. But in the quiet room his maniacal laugh was even more piercing than before. "Ha ha! Now you are even more sick!"
At this, he fled.
Local authorities have issued a warrant for the arrest of Prince Ethan, or Germ Man. Be aware that he may have other unknown aliases. If you have any information on his whereabouts, please contact your local Rescue Hero chapter. Princess Aunt Abby's family is working on getting some reward money together--as soon as they can find their monopoly set. The princess has retired quietly to her family tree house, where it is hoped she will make a full recovery and is receiving hourly cootie shots.
In the last month, Donnie was out of town 24 days. TWENTY-FOUR DAYS. He's a youth pastor. It's summer. That's just how it goes.
Since this is my first summer with the little guy, I didn't expect to get much done during this month. We hunkered down in the air conditioned house, made a few trips to the library, and mostly just hibernated and waited it out. But no matter how hard I try to make our times without him uneventful, I always end up about a mile from Crazytown by the time he makes it back to us.
Here are a couple facebook status examples of what I mean:
"Esther
busted her lip, pinched her finger, and banged her head. I carried her
to make her feel better, but then Elijah started to scream bloody
murder, so I put her down to pick him up. Which made Esther scream HER
head off. Finally Eli calmed down so I put him down and picked up
Esther again. Then my milk leaked through my shirt.
In other words, we went to Walmart."
(That fun trip to Walmart was when we picked up the fabric for Elijah's new sheets. The crazy thing is, this list is only about HALF of what went wrong during the trip.)
"DO NOT PAINT WITH POOP ON YOUR SISTER'S BEDROOM WALLS. DO NOT TOUCH YOUR BROTHER'S HANDS AFTER YOU HAVE PAINTED WITH POOP.
DO NOT BRUSH YOUR HAIR FROM YOUR EYES WHILE MOMMY IS STILL RUNNING IN
CIRCLES AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO CLEAN UP FIRST AND DIDN'T
REALIZE THAT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOUR HANDS.
--Some new house rules"
This literally happened just hours after Donnie left for his first trip of the summer. I sent him a picture text that went like this:
Me: Esther painted you a mural for father's day.
Him: What IS that?!
Me: The medium or the picture? The medium is poop. I think the picture looks like a face.
::Warning! These next pictures are explicit, but several of you asked for them.::
See the face?
I threw her in the tub and left her there while I cleaned up and got my temper under control.
"I
had a dream about zombies. They were kids, but they didn't look scary.
They looked sweet and had their arms held out for hugs and comfort.
But when you hugged them, they'd bite into your face and either eat you
or turn you into a zombie too.
Some dreams need interpreting. Not this one."
(My kids turned me into a zombie.)
On top of everything else, I got a fishhook stuck in my finger (I wasn't fishing!), I accidentally spread spackle on my bagel, I ran smack into a bunk bed in the middle of the night, and the air conditioner in our house went out.
I don't know why things start to fall apart as soon as Donnie hits the road, but I am always so relieved when he gets back.
We are currently smack dab in the middle of 8 glorious days at home with him. We have been vegging like never before--watching family movies, going to the park, pigging out on ice cream, and hanging out with grandparents to name a few. I can't get enough of this time with him, and neither can our children. Earlier today he was laying on the floor with them--all four kids within arms reach. Heaven on earth.
I know he'll go back to work next week, and a couple weeks after that he'll be out of town again, but I'm choosing not to think about that until I have to. Today, Crazytown is only a spec on the horizon. Daddy's home.
::
It seems I always feel the need to write on this subject sometime during our summer. You can find other examples here and here.
Also, I have caught the building bug. It's intense. Since the bench, I have been sawing, building, painting, or installing things almost every day. I'm working on sharing all of the projects with you over the next couple of weeks, but if you'd like a sneak peek, make sure you are a fan of my facebook page. I've created an "in progress" album that is full of sneaky peeks of what is coming soon to the blog. Check it out!
Last week my sister needed to get out of the house, so I told her to come on over. But with six kids between us, things were going to get real crazy unless we found something for them to do outside. So we started with the sprinklers.
I made sure to keep the sprinklers far enough away from the slide that it didn't create a giant mud puddle at the bottom of it.
But they kept getting muddier and muddier anyway.
Those sneaky kids! They built their own water slide water works by filling up some watering cans and enlisting the little ones to pour them out on the slide as the bigger ones rocketed down it into the sloppy mud pit at the bottom.
I was excited about the display of teamwork and ingenuity, but I kept picturing their muddy feet clomping through my already-struggling carpet. I decided to replace the mud with something equally squishy, yet cleaner and better-smelling.
We made a rule that they could only put shaving cream on themselves. That way we could avoid (in theory) stinging eyes and mouthfuls of the stuff.
It was just a theory.
The littlest, Maddie (20 months) could not get enough of the stuff. She just kept rubbing and rubbing it all over her head and neck.
It got to the point where my sister Abby and I were following them around with cameras, trying to keep the cameras still while we busted up laughing like little girls.
I still can't hold it together when I see these of Maddie:
Dying!!
Sprinklers and Shaving Cream = how to make a bunch of kids happy and cool for 2+ hours in the Texas summer heat.
We really like this one, because at the end of every story, the author ties in the promise of the Messiah, and points the reader to Christ. Makes me tear up every time! This would be a great gift for the little ones in your life. Even if they don't get the stories quite right the first time through.
Hello! I'm so glad you found me! I believe in living life with purpose and creativity, and I want to inspire you to do the same with project tutorials, craft ideas, and funny stories of real family life. Follow me as I strive to find the joy in every day!
