Lasso The Moon

I Gave Up on Handling It

Even big girls get sick sometimes and need to snuggle in Momma's big bed.

Since my youth-pastor husband left for camp last week, all FOUR of our kids have come down with something.  This happens a lot.  I don't think it's necessarily a coincidence that when Donnie is away speaking Jesus into kids, potentially changing their lives and all who they come into contact with FOR THE REST OF FOREVER, that we get a little beat up on back at home.

Because we're the "weak link", right? My husbands ministry in large part depends on me being able to handle it while he's away.  If I crumble, it crumbles.

Or maybe not.  Because what the relentless Enemy of my heart seems to have forgotten is that I gave up on "handling it" a long time ago.  Raising four kids in a stable home environment with a traveling husband is more than I can handle.  It just is.  I give up!  Surrender!

And when I do that, Jesus takes over. I feel like He's holding my arms up for me, like Moses in the wilderness, loving and caring for my kids through me.  Giving me joy and hope and the peace that passes understanding, until the battle (week) is over and we are victorious (alive).

Ministry is a battle.  It just is.  When you serve the Lord, you get attacked with discouragement, weariness, broken-down cars, and summer colds.  But I'm not going to crumble.  Because I'm not even going to try to hold this place together on my own. 

That would be a disaster.

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Thanks to all of you who sent encouraging messages when I posted this on instagram earlier today!  If you don't follow me there, why the heck not? It's time. You can find me @lasso_the_moon

If you are curious at all about more stories of life here without Pastor Daddy, I don't write about it a ton, but here are a few times that I did:

What We've Been Up To (2010)

Homecoming (Poetry Wednesday - 2011)

The Road to Crazy Town (2013)

Also, if you've never read about Moses' arms being held up by his friends when he was ready to give up, it is a must-read, true story.  You can find it in Exodus 17.

 

 

I Used to be a Wildflower

 I used to pick wildflowers. I used to look forward to May so that I could put together a birthday bouquet full of lilies, thistles, and queen anne's lace that I found in fields or along Texas roads for my friend Amanda's birthday each year.  I used to be a wildflower.  But there is something about being a mom, or a wife, or maybe just an adult, that makes it hard to keep up that wild, care-free spirit.  I'm a role model now.  I have important things to do with my precious little time.  Most days, I probably resemble a cactus--strong, sturdy...and prickly--more than a wildflower swaying in the breeze.

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We were on our way to buy crickets for our newest pet, who you may have met in a previous post. It was an hour past bedtime, and the pet store would only be open for another 30 minutes.  Donnie was out of town, so it was all on me to keep our beloved pet stocked with prey to stalk, especially since she had turned her nose up at the last treat we presented to her.  Angelina the Tarantula was not exactly Momma's favorite on this night.

Neither was Eli.  Because about 5 minutes from our destination, my potty-training 3-year-old told me he had to potty.  Dark thoughts.

There was literally nothing around except a field, not that I would have been able to take him in anywhere since I wasn't wearing proper supportive undergarments.  In fact, the only person who was fully dressed was Emma, who I was planning to send into the store.  Everyone else was in jammies or less, since it was an hour past bedtime. Out of potty options, we pulled over to the field.  And as there were no trees to aim for, which are his preference when taking relief in the wild, I pointed out a small purple thistle.  "Go for it." I stood there grumbling in my heart for a minute as he finished, knowing we could easily run out of time.

And then glanced up at the field.

It was absolutely bursting with wildflowers. Gorgeous purples, pinks, rusts, and golds--colors I would never put together, but in nature, they just work.  And as I stood there, I felt the stirring of my inner wildflower from within my hard cactus shell.  Do I have the time?  I tossed the kid back into the car, and grabbed one of the  five pairs of scissors in the glove box, because that's where you keep scissors apparently, and I ran.  I cut as many as I could carry while my kids looked on with amusement.  I saw them giving each other the nervous side-eye like, "Exactly when will Dad be back from his trip...?"

It only took about 5 minutes.  After their initial shock, the kids started pointing out patches and colors that I didn't have yet. And then with my arms full, my heart racing, and hands stinging from the thistles, I got in the car and drove to the pet store.  We pulled in with a few minutes to spare.

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A lot of times when I'm ordering my day, I fill that to-do list to the top, the sides, and the bottom.  Because there is never enough time to do what needs to be done.  That list is full, and tasks get crossed out!  But there is no margin.   I need margin.  Nice Mommy is in the margin.  Mommy who tries new recipes and card tricks is in the margin.  Encouraging Wife who sends texted love notes in the middle of the day is in the margin.  Wildflowers are in the margin.  I want to be a wildflower again.  As my children get older, they don't need me to be quite so rigid with their "training-up."  Maybe they never did.  I think it's time to practice the gentle sway of the wildflower again.  I liked that version of me.  I think my family will too.

 

 

You're a Good, Good Father

We spent Father's Day taking our own dads out to lunch and ice cream, and then we headed home to veg with the kids--Donnie's favorite thing.

Father's Day 2014

They piled up on the couch like a horizontal pyramid and the good, good father of my four babies was in his happy place.

Donnie is such a good dad.  It will be easy for our kids to relate to God as their Father, because they have his excellent example to compare Him to. They know that they are loved by him, cherished by him. 

baby Esther, 2011

All he wants is to be with them, and the value that has ingrained in their souls makes it easy to believe that God wants to be with them, too. That He'd give His life for them. 

Eli 2014

Because of their dad, they understand that they are cherished, and they see others as worthy of love too.  They watch his example as he makes the name Jesus known to everyone who will listen, and they see him BE Jesus to those who won't.  They want to live like that. 

He's got my whole world in his hands, 2014

I am so thankful for the dads in this world who are living out their role as a representative of Jesus. When your kids turn to their Heavenly Father, they will know that He is good, that He loves them, and that they can trust Him.  Because you have shown them what that looks like.

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I know that not everyone has a dad like this.  If your earthly dad was self-serving, insulting, withheld good from you, made you earn his favor, or caused harm to you, it can be hard to separate those traits from the personality of God.  I pray that you would consider that God is different from the example you were shown of what a Father is.  Your Heavenly Father is everything you wished your dad could have been to you.  He wants to spend time with you.  He wants you to tell Him about your day.  He has all the time in the world for you.  He is gentle and kind.   He wants the best for you that life has to offer.  He hurts when you hurt.  He wants to protect you from pain.  He wants you to succeed in life.  He wants you to be whole.  He wants these things so bad that He came to earth in the form of Jesus, to walk like you and feel all the feelings that you experience.  He wants to be with you so much, that He gave his life to pay your way into eternity.  He conquered guilt for you.  He conquered death for you.  Think about that.  You will close your eyes in this life and open them in His presence.  Not one minute of death.  And the most amazing part of this whole thing is, He'll never hold it over your head.  He'll never remind you of how much you owe Him.  It's free. It's a gift.  It's forever.  You just have to say yes. 

I pray that you get to know the Best Dad this Father's Day.

He's a Good, Good Father.  And you are loved by Him.

from lassothemoon.etsy.com

 

Matthew 7:9-11 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?  If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

Matthew 23:9 And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven.

Galatians 4:6 And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”

Proverbs 3:11 My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.

If You Give Your Kids A Tarantula...

Meet Angelina.

The latest result of my "lean-in" resolution.

She has been living with us since I rescued her from our cat about 3 weeks ago.  I popped a flowerpot over the top of her, mostly because I wanted to see Donnie's reaction when he lifted it off.  He's not a big fan of spiders.

He thought we should put it in a tree where it would be safe, but I didn't want the kids to miss seeing it---you know...we homeschool now...teaching opportunities...yada yada-- and they were already in bed.  We stuck it in a jar on the counter overnight, and woke up to little voices squealing about whether is was real. Or dead. Or where in the world it came from.

Which lead to us doing a little research on what do tarantulas eat...