2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (New American Standard Bible)
8 Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. 9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10 Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
::
I had a conversation with a friend recently about weakness, and I thought I'd share some of what we discovered with you here.
I've mentioned a couple times that we are expecting Baby #4 sometime in early May. It cannot get here fast enough.
I've heard friends talk about how they love being pregnant, and I wish wish WISH I could be one of them. But for some of us, pregnancy is a 9-month struggle through spiritual mud and mire. For me, there are many physical issues that accompany my pregnancies--a couple of which keep me in constant pain. There are also the emotional factors of increased depression and anxiety that make me want to just hibernate until the whole thing is over.
In general, I'd call myself an optimist. At least, mostly and optimist. I can see the bright side of almost any situation, or else see where God is leading us through it. Injury, loneliness, financial struggles, even death--I can take them in stride, knowing that God will carry us through. Nothing shakes me to the core the way that pregnancy does. I am an emotional train wreck!
I don't understand why this is, and when I don't understand something about myself, I try to take it to the Lord. Standing in the bathroom, bawling that I physically could not keep the house up to my standards, and I wasn't being the caliber of mother that I thought I should be, I cried out to Him, "Lord what is it about pregnancy that makes me such a mess? Show me. Help Me!"
And as soon as I got this question out of my heart and into His hands, He responded with this:
"Why are you so afraid of showing weakness?"
Oh.
All He wants is to carry me through this hard time, to show me how strong He is, how much He loves me, and what He is able to do for me. And here I am whining that I even need His help in the first place.
Pride.
While I am not good at accepting help, I am starting to realize that it's what God wants. This is how the Body of Christ is supposed to work. We can't always be the helper of others, and we aren't meant to do it all on our own. Sometimes He wants us to sit back and watch the Lover of Our Souls flex His muscles, so He can show us what He can do.
In my heart of hearts, I don't want my pride to keep me from experiencing His Majesty. I don't know what it will look like practically, but for the next two months, I'm going to do my best to allow God's power to be perfected in my weakness. Let some things go. Accept help. Wallow in the pool of His grace.
I'll let you know how it goes.
::
How do you cope with your own weakness? How will you let God show Himself to you more clearly this week?
p.s. God led me through a different life lesson during my last pregnancy. If you are interested, you can read about it here.
